First things first, scores out of ten for each episode, from worst to best:
2x09 - The Biggest Mistake - 6.5 tubes of red lipstick
2x17 - Vi Of The Future - 7.0 flapping German flags
2x04 - Open House - 7.5 tangled Barbie dolls
2x21 - Backstabbing - 7.5 graduation certificates
2x15 - Life Of The Party - 8.0 tanned, athletic, girly-named fish
2x13 - The Breakdown - 8.5 beetroot fishes
2x01 - Grave - 8.5 hot mentors in towels
2x20 - Disconnect - 8.5 fired housekeepers
2x16 - Curiouser And Curiouser - 8.5 omnipresent tortoises
2x07 - Spin-Off Material (Part 2) - 8.5 empty beer bottles
2x03 - Roses Are Red... - 8.5 broken fairy castles
2x05 - Little Miss Lovely - 9.0 cross-dressing cops
2x19 - Morality - 9.0 troublesome seatbelts
2x02 - The Exorcism Of Violet Morgan - 9.0 paper lanterns
2x22 - Lies Are Lies - 9.0 shapeshifting saplings
2x12 - If You Go Into The Woods Today - 9.0 signal fires
2x08 - Drive - 9.0 bribing jailbird posters
2x14 - The Day That I Died - 9.0 stages of grief
2x06 - Spin-Off Material (Part 1) - 9.5 empty trolley docks
2x10 - Saving Benson - 9.5 pairs of bowling shoes
2x18 - Stitch - 9.5 homemade formal dresses
2x11 - The Newbie - 10.0 cinnamon rolls
Season Average: 8.59 Bacon And Egg McGuffins
Remember how in last season's review I said I didn't know how to criticise something as good as it was? Well, this season was even better. I even almost knocked the Earth out of its usual orbit (which is around my own ego, apparently) by giving a perfect ten! (And again, two of the three 9.5's would have been tens as well, if I didn't have this editor's eye for SPAG haggery.)
So many shocking twists this season. Shane getting Signs and visiting the Company? Doc is Crenshaw? The Breakers actually work together with the Fixers sometimes? Benson's fired? Kou's dead? Shane's turning into an adorable monogamous whore? Niko's dead? Bianca is a Breaker? Diana is the mole? Peter somehow got past the memory ray and realised his book was real? All awesome. I think that out of all of them, the only one I guessed was the Bianca one, what with her at the bus crash site without a single scratch, but she died later on.
I think, though, that if I had to find one problem with the season, it's that it went for long stretches without updating us on [insert storyline here]. Yeah, Peter's book was there throughout the season, but the season basically dropped the Doc storyline from a couple of episodes after he was revealed as Crenshaw until right at the end, we didn't really have any huge Morgan family stories in between 2x02's secret birthday party and 2x21's "Penny graduates! Squee!" storyline, and we went pretty much without the dual Shane's band/Jimmy and Tabitha stories for the entire second half of the season. It's great that we got more development with the Company personnel in exchange, and that we got to see Vi having some sort of romantic life, but I would have liked it to be a bit more... even, you know? But then again, judging by popular opinion, I find Erin less objectionable than most, and the Breakers more objectionable than most, so... whatever that's supposed to mean about my own lack of sanity.
Usually, I'm the sort of person who would pick a favourite character after a couple of episodes, read all their storylines ahead of time for no reason (see also: Gabe in Pathways; Arc in Desperate Screenwriters, Mike in Hell's Gate), and then get disillusioned with the entire concept, but with this show it's impossible to pick a favourite, because everyone is seventeen kinds of kickass, and it's making it a very enjoyable show. (Hurrah for enjoyment, woo!)
There are so many things I'm speculating about for Season 3, it's not even funny. Is there some sort of unknown connection linking Vi and Kieran, considering how often they've wound up together? Would it be a Fixer or a Breaker responsible for maintaining the connection? Is there a third branch for dealing with these sort of things? Will the growing dissatisfaction at the Breakers (certainly with Roxy, Nathan and Bianca, it seems like there may be others as well) result in people defecting to becoming Fixers? We've already gotten Bianca and Marcus Breaker-napped, surely that could go two ways? In other news, why were the scenes we were shown in Bianca's Memory Recovery Centre trip ones that never actually happened? If Bianca was meant to take Vi's place as a Fixer, does that mean Vi is supposed to still be alive? If not, how would she have died? Would Shane have still found out about the Company? Will Erin find his sister? Is it possible, given Drive's trip to Melbourne and Vi Of The Future's fly-by-nacht visit to Germany, for Fixers and/or Breakers to be given assignments that would normally be handled by other regional offices? What would the circumstances be? Why am I overthinking a show this much?
God, I'm this show's bitch. [God: "Shoutout!"]
Monday, December 7, 2009
THE COMPANY SEASON 1 - THE REVIEW
First things first, scores out of ten for each episode, in ascending order:
1x06 - Love Me, Leave Me - 7.0 impenetrable bra-straps
1x09 - Paperwork Junkie - 8.0 changeroom make-out sessions
1x12 - Loose Lips Sink Ships - 8.0 non-sexual sleepovers
1x11 - What A Friend's For - 8.0 crossbone-emblazoned picks
1x02 - I Liked You A Whole Lot Better When You Were Dead - 8.0 still-wrapped lollipops
1x03 - I Was A Teenage Headline - 8.0 slanderous high-school newspaper articles
1x07 - Best Day Ever - 8.0 wide sombreros
1x04 - Inaction Reaction - 8.5 Disney Princess lunchboxes
1x01 - Connect - 9.0 vampire toys
1x08 - All In The Details - 9.0 rhetorical questions
1x13 - Employee Of The Month - 9.0 uninformed Prime Ministers
1x05 - Talk - 9.5 forged parental signatures
1x10 - Last Stop Sanity - 9.5 pairs of magic scissors
Season 1 Average: 8.42 Bacon And Egg McGuffins
I literally have no idea where to begin tearing shreds into this. It's just impossible. I'm, like, the most negative, nitpicky person this side of a talent show judge, and even I was blown away by the quality of this season. If you had some sort of machine that made pure awesomeness tangible, this is what it would come out as. Probably with a little green ribbon wrapped around it or something.
Seriously, I am pretty much the last person on the planet who would give out a perfect ten for something, and I came damn close a few times during the season -- the two 9.5 grades would both have been 10.0's, were it not for a tiny SPAG error. I think one of the 9.0's would have been close too, if there wasn't... a couple I'm forgetting about right now that's probably obvious. Damn sleep deprivation. (Vi, honey, I know exactly how you feel. Apparently, reuniting families and discovering cheating parents is much more similar to mocking reality TV than I think any of us -- me incuded -- realised.)
The biggest strength this show has, I think, is that it doesn't stick to anything resembling a format. Every episode is something completely different from what's come before, even though the characters and settings may be similar, and it's very refreshing to have something like that with the endless slew of cop shows and fly-on-the-wall sitcoms/documentaries on Actual TV at the moment. Love. It.
You know, I looked at the cast pages before I started reading, and unless there's someone I'm forgetting (in which case I blame Tiger Woods, because who hasn't recently?), I don't think I've ever actually watched any of these people in any of their past works. But the characters were so vivid and distinct that I had no problems at all identifying them after the first episode. It's so unusual, at least to the relatively-unread me, to be able to picture characters so well and also to have a plot, that I have almost literally no idea how you managed to get both done in... what was it, sixty pages? Amazing.
In short: What everyone else has been saying for years. Can't wait to find out who this Crenshaw person is. (This is me, trying to find time to simultaneously read season two and mentally undress Andrew Friar.)
1x06 - Love Me, Leave Me - 7.0 impenetrable bra-straps
1x09 - Paperwork Junkie - 8.0 changeroom make-out sessions
1x12 - Loose Lips Sink Ships - 8.0 non-sexual sleepovers
1x11 - What A Friend's For - 8.0 crossbone-emblazoned picks
1x02 - I Liked You A Whole Lot Better When You Were Dead - 8.0 still-wrapped lollipops
1x03 - I Was A Teenage Headline - 8.0 slanderous high-school newspaper articles
1x07 - Best Day Ever - 8.0 wide sombreros
1x04 - Inaction Reaction - 8.5 Disney Princess lunchboxes
1x01 - Connect - 9.0 vampire toys
1x08 - All In The Details - 9.0 rhetorical questions
1x13 - Employee Of The Month - 9.0 uninformed Prime Ministers
1x05 - Talk - 9.5 forged parental signatures
1x10 - Last Stop Sanity - 9.5 pairs of magic scissors
Season 1 Average: 8.42 Bacon And Egg McGuffins
I literally have no idea where to begin tearing shreds into this. It's just impossible. I'm, like, the most negative, nitpicky person this side of a talent show judge, and even I was blown away by the quality of this season. If you had some sort of machine that made pure awesomeness tangible, this is what it would come out as. Probably with a little green ribbon wrapped around it or something.
Seriously, I am pretty much the last person on the planet who would give out a perfect ten for something, and I came damn close a few times during the season -- the two 9.5 grades would both have been 10.0's, were it not for a tiny SPAG error. I think one of the 9.0's would have been close too, if there wasn't... a couple I'm forgetting about right now that's probably obvious. Damn sleep deprivation. (Vi, honey, I know exactly how you feel. Apparently, reuniting families and discovering cheating parents is much more similar to mocking reality TV than I think any of us -- me incuded -- realised.)
The biggest strength this show has, I think, is that it doesn't stick to anything resembling a format. Every episode is something completely different from what's come before, even though the characters and settings may be similar, and it's very refreshing to have something like that with the endless slew of cop shows and fly-on-the-wall sitcoms/documentaries on Actual TV at the moment. Love. It.
You know, I looked at the cast pages before I started reading, and unless there's someone I'm forgetting (in which case I blame Tiger Woods, because who hasn't recently?), I don't think I've ever actually watched any of these people in any of their past works. But the characters were so vivid and distinct that I had no problems at all identifying them after the first episode. It's so unusual, at least to the relatively-unread me, to be able to picture characters so well and also to have a plot, that I have almost literally no idea how you managed to get both done in... what was it, sixty pages? Amazing.
In short: What everyone else has been saying for years. Can't wait to find out who this Crenshaw person is. (This is me, trying to find time to simultaneously read season two and mentally undress Andrew Friar.)
NIGHT STALKER SEASON 1.5 - THE REVIEW
Okay. So. Let's see. Hmm. How else can I stall writing this? (Yeah, I know. Story of my life.) I can't stall anymore? Fine. First things first, scores out of ten for each episode:
1.5x01 - Paradigm - James Jordan - 6.0
1.5x02 - Traffic - Jordan - 7.0
1.5x03 - First Sight - Lee A. Chrimes - 7.5
1.5x04 - Through A Glass, Darkly - Dino Leone - 8.0
1.5x05 - House of Kolchak - Chrimes, Chris Haigh, Jordan, Angelo Shrine - 7.5
1.5x06 - Progeny - Jordan - 7.0
1.5x07 - Prodigy - Jordan - 6.5
1.5x08 - The Afflicted - Haigh - 5.0
1.5x09 - Trinity - Alden C. Caele - 7.0
1.5x10 - What Is Lost - Jordan - 6.0
Season 1.5 Average: 6.75
I'm probably one of the more negative reviewers out there (here, I sense showrunner James Jordan is firing up the Gee-Ya-Think-Inator), so on a whole, that isn't a bad final mark. Really.
For all the mythologising of the episode as one of the Greatest VS Scripts Ever In The History Of VS Ever!!1!1!, I was pretty underwhelmed by House of Kolchak. To me, at least, there just didn't appear to be anything too special about it, beyond the episode structure. Sure, the stories were told well, and the structure was a departure from the usual, but... it just doesn't live up to the hype, in my opinion.
JJ and I had a discussion at the show's forum after I reviewed the first episode, in which the basic conclusion was that I'm the sort of guy who's probably not going to enjoy the episodes dealing with the ongoing story arcs as much as the standalone episodes, and... yeah, that seems about right. Four of the five lowest-scoring episodes this season were the four mytharc episodes. The irony, of course, is that the lowest scoring episode of all ten wasn't.
So, why did that episode (The Afflicted) score so low? I think the combination of it being a fairly stock-standard vampire story, and the fact that it was even more abundantly clear than usual that none of our lead characters were actually going to be harmed by Marissa sort of made it drag along. I did sort of like the basic idea of using the AIDS virus in such a disturbing manner, though -- it's the same sort of shock tactics that resulted in the success of the Grim Reaper advertising campaign, and it works. Not as well as that campaign, mind you, but it does decently enough to stop the episode from being a complete shemozzle.
One of the biggest problems this season had, in addition to having to clearly be in keeping with the format of the original cancelled TV series (and, by extension, having to explain and continue the mytharc of a show pretty much nobody watched), is that many of the episodes were treading in territory The X-Files had already cocked a leg over. If it was just a couple of episodes, I'd be more forgiving -- especially given that the shows are interconnected in their development -- but most if not all of the episodes felt like they were regurgitating plot points from somewhere during the run. Looking ahead, the show has really got to move away from The X-Files in its second season in order to stand on its own two feet the way it should.
As a whole, though, it's a decent season with a fair but recoupable amount of wasted potential. Let's hope Season 2 is better.
1.5x01 - Paradigm - James Jordan - 6.0
1.5x02 - Traffic - Jordan - 7.0
1.5x03 - First Sight - Lee A. Chrimes - 7.5
1.5x04 - Through A Glass, Darkly - Dino Leone - 8.0
1.5x05 - House of Kolchak - Chrimes, Chris Haigh, Jordan, Angelo Shrine - 7.5
1.5x06 - Progeny - Jordan - 7.0
1.5x07 - Prodigy - Jordan - 6.5
1.5x08 - The Afflicted - Haigh - 5.0
1.5x09 - Trinity - Alden C. Caele - 7.0
1.5x10 - What Is Lost - Jordan - 6.0
Season 1.5 Average: 6.75
I'm probably one of the more negative reviewers out there (here, I sense showrunner James Jordan is firing up the Gee-Ya-Think-Inator), so on a whole, that isn't a bad final mark. Really.
For all the mythologising of the episode as one of the Greatest VS Scripts Ever In The History Of VS Ever!!1!1!, I was pretty underwhelmed by House of Kolchak. To me, at least, there just didn't appear to be anything too special about it, beyond the episode structure. Sure, the stories were told well, and the structure was a departure from the usual, but... it just doesn't live up to the hype, in my opinion.
JJ and I had a discussion at the show's forum after I reviewed the first episode, in which the basic conclusion was that I'm the sort of guy who's probably not going to enjoy the episodes dealing with the ongoing story arcs as much as the standalone episodes, and... yeah, that seems about right. Four of the five lowest-scoring episodes this season were the four mytharc episodes. The irony, of course, is that the lowest scoring episode of all ten wasn't.
So, why did that episode (The Afflicted) score so low? I think the combination of it being a fairly stock-standard vampire story, and the fact that it was even more abundantly clear than usual that none of our lead characters were actually going to be harmed by Marissa sort of made it drag along. I did sort of like the basic idea of using the AIDS virus in such a disturbing manner, though -- it's the same sort of shock tactics that resulted in the success of the Grim Reaper advertising campaign, and it works. Not as well as that campaign, mind you, but it does decently enough to stop the episode from being a complete shemozzle.
One of the biggest problems this season had, in addition to having to clearly be in keeping with the format of the original cancelled TV series (and, by extension, having to explain and continue the mytharc of a show pretty much nobody watched), is that many of the episodes were treading in territory The X-Files had already cocked a leg over. If it was just a couple of episodes, I'd be more forgiving -- especially given that the shows are interconnected in their development -- but most if not all of the episodes felt like they were regurgitating plot points from somewhere during the run. Looking ahead, the show has really got to move away from The X-Files in its second season in order to stand on its own two feet the way it should.
As a whole, though, it's a decent season with a fair but recoupable amount of wasted potential. Let's hope Season 2 is better.
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